Back To School Night

Thursday evening was our daughter’s back to school night. She is in the second grade and has been attending the same school since her first day of kindergarten. It’s always the same lame shit. Everybody has to sit through a little presentation given by the principal and the PTA.  This was the worst, least informative and most boring ass kissing session I have ever witnessed. The principal does all the blabbering and the assistant principal tries to remember enough of what she said to translate it into Spanish. It seems like they would follow the same bullet points instead of trying to reiterate verbatim what was clearly an ad-lib performance.  It was very slow and difficult to give a fuck about.

All of the teachers were introduced, stood awkwardly and waited for the others to be named before sitting again. The first time I sat through this crap I clapped along because it seemed rude not to, but I have begun to reserve my politeness for the end like a normal person. That shit was just unbearable.  They mentioned the janitor (who wasn’t there) and everyone started clapping like retards. These goofy assholes clapped for the English bits and then clapped again for the Spanish bits. I was ready to bail and hit the classrooms before that bitch opened her mouth.

Once the misery in the cafeteria was over it was time to visit Hailey’s classroom and meet her teacher again. She was really nice and pretty in that hippie Santa Cruz surfer girl kind of way. She came across as very smart and capable. I like her much more than the shrew who “taught” first grade.   Somebody should seriously snatch that cunt’s “World’s Best Teacher” mug and defile her with it (off the point, but worth saying). Anyway, we came into a very neat and bright space that looks like a wonderful place to be a second grader. We scanned the room for Hailey’s desk, we poked through her shit and we sat down to gain her perspective.  Her desk was very tidy and that made her mom smile. I sat across from my wife in a little chair and listened to a well thought out, brief and all together very pleasant presentation. It really is too bad that there were so few of us to see her. Only four other parents came and most of them were late. I felt a little sad about it.

After the teacher’s presentation and a few questions we got up to explore the room and noticed right away that our kid is a fucking genius. She acts like an absolute spaz case sometimes and confuses the hell out of me, but apparently she is a bright , well adjusted little kid. We find this to be good news indeed. I like that I see her name and influence  all over the room there. Some kids are like ghosts.

There wasn’t much time to talk to the teacher because she was improvising her pitch to the late arrivals. The hot wife signed up for all the trips and volunteer stuff and I  ate chocolate chip cookies while we waited our turn. Our turn didn’t come fast enough so we bailed.  According to the walls in there Hailey is doing very well. She is student of the week , she is a star speller and her homework chart is full of stars. Plus we have Mrs. Whatsherface’s  email address and one of us is at the school every day. So I think we are covered access wise. It seems like it’s going to be a good year despite principal’s lack of principal-ish-ness or whatever. Something is wrong with that woman. It’s always so hard for me when a person I am supposed to respect and trust is a redundant twat.

Over all it went well. We learned some stuff and got a cookie. We found parking (which is AMAZING) and nobody hit us up for money. The girls were all ready for bed when we got home and I don’t feel a screwed as I have in the past. In my book, that is a win.